Things I Worry About: Money

Australia MoneyAs I’ve mentioned, my insomnia is brought about from stress, anxiety and depression.  Even though I have a good job it doesn’t stop me from worrying about money.

I feel that no matter how much I work, money is always a problem for me.  I just can’t make ends meet.

When I first moved to Sydney, I didn’t have a job.  In order to live I applied for a lot of credit cards and lived off of those for a couple of months.  I put everything on credit, I had a boyfriend that lived with me and his income was helpful, but we split up during the first month here and he left me for another woman.

So there I was in Sydney.  No money, no job, all alone and all this stress made my insomnia so much worse than it had ever been.  I felt like it was impossible to get a job with my condition so I just started charging all the bills to various credit cards.

The more stressed I got, the less stuff I could handle. This continued until I finally forced myself to start applying for jobs.  I began a writing job a month ago.  I write descriptions for products that my client is offering.

The best part about this job is that I get to work from home and I can work any time during the day that I would like.  This situation works great for me, because I can work around any time that I’m able to actually sleep for a few hours.

The worst part about this job is that I can afford my rent and groceries, but I’m not able to start paying my creditors. They have been making some threats lately, which is just stressing me out more. I’m thinking about filling out a debtor’s petition.

Another solution to my financial woes is for me to get a roommate.  I think I’m going to post an advert on craigslist to find another woman who might want to share a space with me.  It will be nice to have someone else in the flat again.

An Introduction to Insomnia

sleepy ladyI thought I should give everyone a little introduction to what insomnia is, how it effects different people, and dispel some of the myths that revolve around the disorder.

Wikipedia defines insomnia as a sleep disorder where the person is unable to fall asleep or to stay asleep for as long as they’d like. The article goes on to say that insomnia is considered both a medical sign and a symptom that can accompany several disorders that are characterized by persistent difficulty trying to sleep.

There are three different classifications of insomnia.  The first is transient insomnia.  Transient insomnia lasts for less than a week. The effects of transient insomnia are similar to the effects of sleep deprivation.

Acute insomnia is insomnia that lasts less than a month, but more than a week. Another name for acute insomnia is short term insomnia or stress related insomnia.

Chronic insomnia lasts for longer than a month. Chronic insomnia affects people with high levels of stress hormones, or a shift in the levels of cytokines. Chronic insomnia can include muscular fatigue, mental fatigue, hallucinations, or even double vision.

Some causes of insomnia include, the use of psychoactive drugs, withdrawing from medication, heart disease, breathing problems, restless leg syndrome, life events (fear, stress, anxiety, emotional or mental tension), and many others.

Insomnia affects all sorts of different types of people.  It doesn’t matter if you’re rich or poor, old or young.  There are certain groups of people who are more likely to suffer from insomnia. These groups include, people over 60, a history of mental health disorder, emotional stress, people who work late night shifts, and people who travel through different time zones.

Many people claim to have insomnia because they can’t sleep once in a while.  This is like someone labeling themselves as having obsessive compulsive disorder because they like things to be tidy.  Insomnia isn’t just “not being able to sleep once in a while.”  It is an all-encompassing disorder that affects every aspect of one’s life.

I was diagnosed with chronic insomnia when I was 16 years old.  My insomnia is a combination of my depression and an anxiety disorder.  Although I was only diagnosed with insomnia at 16, it really started when I hit puberty.

I’ve finally had enough of this insomnia thing and I want to do something about it.  There are different ways to try and treat insomnia.  Some people get hypnotized, and other do something called EEG biofeedback. Other people have had success with cognitive behavioral therapy and prevention techniques.

If all the other things don’t work, I think I might have to resort to medications.  I don’t want to take medication because I believe that chemicals might have a negative effect on my body, but really it may not be as bad as not sleeping all of the time.

If I didn’t have enough to worry about…

Why I need a security doorSleeping is hard enough when I feel safe and secure in my house. But when I’m finally drifting off to sleep and someone kicks in my front door at 4am, things are a little different…

There I was, drifting off to sleep, pleasant dreams about to fill my head as I sunk into the pillow and BAMM! It sounded like a bomb had gone off!

I jumped up screaming and heard someone run back out of the house as fast as they’d come in.

Chatting with the police later, they thought that whoever did this must have thought that no-one was home. They must have got some kind of tip from a ‘friend’ that whoever lived there was going to be away and the house would be fine to rob.

It makes sense… Why else would you kick down the front door?

And now, sleeping is just that little bit harder.

I get worried so easily – that someone’s going to kick down the door or climb in a window or shimmy down the chimney (hey, you never know!). I just don’t feel safe any more.

I remember talking to one of my girlfriends a while ago after she’d been robbed and she said the same thing.

The worst thing isn’t the stuff that’s gone missing or that someone’s been touching your stuff, it’s that it makes you worry – and worry eats you alive.

I spoke to the real estate agent yesterday and they’re going to get the door fixed asap. They’re going to add bars to the windows and a security door. That should stop most of the problems.

The good part is that I was complaining that I didn’t want the house to look like a prison so they said that I get to choose what they look like!

Hmmm… Now, more to think about.

I’ve started reading up on everything I have to consider before I choose a security door but I haven’t come to any conclusions yet. It’s a MUCH bigger process than I thought.

These Spartan Doors look AWESOME, but they’re a little extreme… I don’t think we need terrorist level protection. I might just go with these steel mesh doors. They’re the least prison like ones I can find.

So much to choose from. So much to think about.

At least it means we’ll be safe from attack again.

Doing Business Valuations in Sydney, a Possible Job Lead

business valuations SydneyAs you know, I have been trying to find a second job in order to make more money to pay off my creditors and afford gifts when it is Christmas time. I think that getting a second job will help relieve a lot of my anxiety, and it may let me worry about one less thing. I get so anxious when I even think about leaving the apartment, I don’t know how I could handle a real job.

I was looking through the local classifieds this weekend for any opportunity that may present itself.  I saw an ad posted for an assistant position at a company that does business valuations in Sydney called Valuator.

It was 3 am and I couldn’t sleep so I decided to do some research on what business valuators do and to see if it would match my skill set. According to Wikipedia a business valuation is a set of procedures that are used to estimate the economic value of an owner’s internet in a business.

Wikipedia goes on to explain that a valuation is used by financial market participants to determine what they are willing to pay or receive if a sale took place.  Business valuations are used to estimate the selling price of a business and to appraise business to resolve disputes.

The company that has the position that I’m thinking about applying for says they value a business based on current profits, current assets, owners’ involvement, future growth potential, industry, management, the economy and finally, the risk to a buyer.

I think that this may be a job I would be interested in.  I enjoy talking about numbers and percentages and all of that. I always enjoyed accounting courses, and I’m very detailed oriented so I would make a good assistant. At least my mom tells me I would make a good assistant.

If I got this job it could solve a lot of my problems.  I could be an assistant during the day and work on my writing job during the night while I can’t sleep. Maybe having a day job will help me actually sleep at night, which would be amazing. Like I mentioned before, more money would be amazing.  Maybe I could even avoid having to fill out the debtor’s petition.

I started taking some pills that are relieving me of my anxiety and making me feel a little braver about getting out of the apartment. This job would be great timing, it might help me make some friends and get out of this funk I’m in.

I just want to feel normal.  I want a real job, I want to go back to school and I want a social life. If I can just get out of the apartment maybe I could start dating again.  I miss having another person around. My therapist says that I just need to be okay being by myself, but I feel like I just need someone around.  My bird isn’t exactly the best company, he doesn’t even talk much.